hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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