How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
