he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I would fuck him just for his dog
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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