we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
