She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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