i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I need moral support for this bender
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
