lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
How naked do you want me to be?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
