I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
