life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
