I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
