I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
