I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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