32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
