when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
