So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
