So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Shame - the story of my life.
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