It's Friday. Sex?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
