well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
She bit a glass in half.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize