Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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