To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I won't apologize to a one balled man
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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