There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
