i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
This house was built for laser tag.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
