Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
