That's intense
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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