ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
