You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
