What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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