And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
