The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
