your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
