just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
i now understand why vodka
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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