this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
