Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I think your dad took our porno
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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