yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
