some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
True strength comes from lack of pants
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
