so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
