it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Randomize
