I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
