yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
