Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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