apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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