I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
