"it" just moved
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
