I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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