so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Randomize
