Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize