I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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