Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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