never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I have post one night stand depression
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