haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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