Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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